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Stop Hating, Start Listening

My hope today is that everyone will drop the hate and anti-Trump or anti-Hillary rhetoric and talk to the other side instead of writing them off.

I believe in my heart that even the worst of Trump’s supporters have the ability to change. I’m talking about the ones that were attracted to him by the racism, sexism and all the other ‘isms. Dare I say it, even Trump himself has shown an ability to change over the course of the election campaign through dialog and through (he says) talking with his wife, and children. He has much work to do before I’d consider him a changed person, but that means only that we all have work to do to help him change too.

Attacking people for how they think and forcing change on them doesn’t accomplish anything. Working to learn about the roots of their hate and addressing the issues that brought us all where to we are at can lead to real change.

Consider where people grew up and the environmental factors that influenced them throughout their lives. Believe and offer the benefit of the doubt that they are fallible humans with the real potential to understand and change. Realize that they may be right and accept that you may be wrong.

Much to learn

As a Canadian and as a Torontonian looking south, this week has shown me that I have much to learn as well. I’m just as guilty of attacking those with other viewpoints as our American neighbours on both sides of the debate.

It’s been a real tough week of introspection for me and at the same time, it’s been very good for the soul for me to start questioning myself on things like how I reacted to the election of Rob Ford, and the problems we face in our city.

I’m one of the “fallible humans with the real potential to understand and change” that I talked about three paragraphs back. It’s been tough to admit that, but it’s also true. I’ve also realized that in some cases, I’ve been wrong and accepting that has also been difficult.

Sadness slowly turning to hope

Many tears have been shed since Tuesday in conversations with my wife, my friends and with myself. Mostly I’ve been terribly sad and upset by the hatred that I’ve heard around the office, out in public and also coming through in the posts on my Facebook and Twitter feeds.

At the same time I’m slowly feeling more encouraged by the number of great conversations that I’ve had over the last two days as the tone changes, and the rhetoric slowly fades from view in favour of exchanges of viewpoints and ideas. Minds are opening through real conversation and minds are being changed on both sides.

I’m finally hopeful. In a weirdly fucked up and backwards way, the election of Donald Trump has brought me the hope that we can figure this all out and make a better world for everyone.

Progress

We can’t all agree on everything and that’s fine.

Discord is good for our communities and our country; it is these differences of opinion which can lead to changes of opinion. With that comes real progress.

Discord is also dangerous. Screaming at, and writing off others because of their opinions, or shutting down in the face of disagreements, leads to both sides digging in and refusing to acknowledge the other. That, in turn, sows the seeds of division and perpetuates the cycle of hate.

Listen, learn and then maybe engage. Stop fighting. Rise above it and extend a hand or offer a hug.

At least in my social circles, we’re slowly starting to learn from each other and it’s so great to see. Spread it around.